Please refrain from stinging. I know it’s just your nature. It’s what you do, and you are so small and your honey is so prized. But I can assure you that I have no designs on your colony. My intentions are pure, as far as your hive is concerned.
If you must sting, please do your business quickly and be on your way. I am very sorry that you must enter your death throes upon releasing your sting, but quite frankly that is not my problem. I hate to be insensitive, but once again, it’s your nature. I have no control over your physiological traits, and I must at this point remind you that my intention was never to bring harm to your hive. I’m just a guy trying to make his way home.
If you must linger, please understand that while I am much larger than you, I am susceptible to what we call “a case of the heebie-jeebies.” I know it’s unreasonable, but please understand that cases of the heebie-jeebies can actually be quite perilous, especially at highway speed in our automobiles when we suddenly discover a stowaway in its death throes underneath our garments.
Finally, please understand that my bellybutton, while fuzzy and warm, is not an acceptable final resting (or death-throe-ing) place. Remember those heebie-jeebies? We humans are a prideful lot, and I dare say that I am duly embarrassed by the heebie-jeebie dance I exhibited whilst exiting my automobile. I have neighbors, and some have become suspicious. I dare say that today I must have confirmed their qualms about my sanity.
You left out the part where you walked in with the still live bee in your fingers and tried to tell your wife the whole story, but didn’t account for the fact that your wife would be completely distracted by the bee thrashing about and probably wouldn’t hear most of what you said and wouldn’t realize you had posted something and would feel kind of dumb finding out the details so many days later. Yeah, you forgot that part. I am dismayed that I was denied two whole days of picturing the heebie-jeebie dance. Next time, please keep the bee in your belly button while you are telling the story. That would work best for me.